I’ve been thinking about how I want to approach this topic for a while. Let’s be honest, there be dragons. People tend to have very strong opinions on this matter and are usually very quick to, well, share them. Vociferously, loudly, and ignorantly.
But I’m going to say what I want anyway, because that’s what this blog is for.
If I had to say what I think is maybe the most dangerous trend in society over the past century, it would take me a bit to choose one, but I think I’d eventually settle on this:
The most dangerous trend in society over the past century is the idea that people are more than the sum of their reproductive characteristics.
That’s, of course, a gross simplification, because people are more than the sum of their reproductive characteristics. But that idea tends to minimize reproductive characteristics to the point that they’re just seen to not matter anymore. Women will say “I’m not just tits and ass”. Well, that’s true, they’re not, but for reproductive purposes, well, they kind of are. That’s what their bodies are specifically designed to be. And men will say “I’m more than a paycheck and sperm donor”, but for reproductive purposes, again, well, they kind of are. Men don’t have, or need, breasts for a reason. And the problem is that in the quest for meaning that transcends reproduction, the reproduction aspect is forgotten about, and so then is a large part of what makes us human.
Sexual characteristics, both primary and secondary, are kind of a quandary. They don’t define us as a person, but they define us as a human. The idea that there are two types of people – man and woman – and that the men an women come together in marriage – is an idea as old as humanity itself. And the sole purpose of that has been to make babies. Women have breasts to attract a man and to feed babies. Men have, well, as a man I’m not an expert on what attracts women, but we have characteristics whose sole purpose is to attract women, start a family, and protect that family. Ideally, we enjoy those parts of each other, because that’s what makes us human.
And lately we pretend that those things don’t exist.
Things like homosexuality and transgender are the most selfish things that exist in human experience – focused on being what you want rather than what you should be as a human. And it’s that idea that we’re more than our reproductive capabilities that has made those ideas possible. We are more than our reproductive capabilities, but only in some ways. In others, well, that’s all we are. Is there any point in being human if there aren’t any children? Is there any point in being human if we can’t make children?
It’s a tough question. I kind of lean towards no.
I am late 40s and have no children. I’m a phenomenally selfish person. But not entirely. I’m also a phenomenally damaged person. Maybe I can get past that damage with enough time left over to be what I was supposed to be, as a human. Maybe not. But I know what I am, I know what my damage has done, and I know it’s not right. It is what it is, but it’s not right. And if more people would understand how their damage or whatever is, maybe what they are, but not right… then maybe we could start fixing the ills in our society.
They won’t. Selfishness is particularly insidious. You can’t fix selfishness with more selfishness.