How did the skit turn out?

Pretty well.

The constraints were, we had to use introduction phrases, speak relatively fluently, and make sensei laugh.  So early on, we came up with the idea of a doctor and patient.  My partner was the doctor, and I was the patient.  I had not filled out the forms and she kept asking me questions while I asked for help.

The kicker was that the questions got more and more absurd the longer we went on.

Towards the end, she asked my cats’ names (Inoki Antonio, Abe Shinzo, Takahashi Minami, and Kaori Iida), and their birthdays, at which point I abruptly ended the interview by dying.

The biggest laugh was at the reveal of the cat names!

I threw in an easter egg, too.  When she asked for my address, I recited the address of the AKB48 theater.  I don’t think anyone in the class picked up on that.

I got an 88%.  So there’s that.  Even though I hated doing it with an utter passion.  My partner didn’t seem much happier with the assignment, so there’s that, too.  Frankly, that assignment is one of the major reasons why I’m not taking the next class, now, anyway.

After this class ends, I’m going to start studying for the N5.  Probably by studying Japanese to an N4 level so I can be sure I’m overprepared for the N5.  I hear that’s the best way to do it.

Still not sure why I’m learning Japanese but walking up to my boss and saying “今は医者にいきます” and seeing the utterly confused look on his face almost makes it worth it.

Japan: Warts and All

I imagine that when most people think of Japan they think of the media that Japan produces, and it’s really incredible.  There’s anime, manga, variety shows…  and there is so much more for Japan to offer.  It’s completely understandable that people from other countries might latch on to the otherness of Japanese culture and kind of worship it.  And there are quite a few people who do that.

But as you learn about Japan – I mean, really learn, and not just from their mass media or television, a different picture starts to be painted.  A picture of an ancient, insular culture that has very recently been thrust into a larger world where they don’t know what to do with us anymore than we know what to do with them, sometimes.  There are so many beautiful things in their culture, and so many destructive things as well.  Karoushi, suicides, the slow and seemingly inevitable decline of their culture even as they struggle to find their place in the world and even amongst themselves.

Worshipping their culture seems to be doing everyone a disservice.  For a culture that prizes unity and purity as much as they do, they just seem so.. I don’t know.  broken.

This isn’t intended to demean them at all.  In some ways they have so much to teach us about how to live in community.  We in the west value individualism so deeply that we’re willing to sacrifice community harmony (if this weren’t true, then “identity politics” wouldn’t be the troublesome thing they are today), but the Japanese seem to value community harmony so highly that the travails of the individual don’t really seem to matter all that much.

And in this case, I’m not sure who, if anyone, is right.  Both approaches have their upsides and downsides.

But the more I learn about Japan, the more sad I become, in some ways.  It feels like an ancient culture, full of beauty, in a slow motion collision with forces that maybe they won’t be able to recover from.

I don’t worship their culture.  I love many aspects of their culture, but I don’t worship it.  For, all else aside, they are, if nothing else, just as human as I am.  And when you truly love something, you love their warts as much as their beauty.

I wonder if they feel as lost in this world as I do, sometimes.

Kanji makes it easier?

One of the assignments given to us by sensei was to do a skit where we have to make up and memorize our lines.  I’m finding this very difficult and am rather annoyed by the whole idea.

Okay, “rather annoyed” is something of an understatement.  I’m closer to “royally pissed” on the scale, I think.

But it is what it is, and I have a partner I can’t let down, so here we go.

Anyway, as I’m studying, I have found that one of the biggest obstacles to my memorization of the words is the syllabic system.  No, seriously.  See, English letters are very different than Japanese syllables.  English letters sometimes do not have their own identity, and several letters blend together to make a syllable.  Even though there are 15,000 or so potential syllables, it’s really easy to see the words because the letters don’t really count for much by themselves.

With the syllabic systems – hiragana and katakana – that’s not really true.  While some vowels are unvoiced, entire syllables are never, and they have the same importance mechanically when recited (I said mechanically, not grammatically).  So if you can’t get out of the mindset of sets of hiragana/kanji/ofurigana being actual words and are stuck on the syllables, memorization and fluency becomes near impossible.  This is because you’re memorizing sets of syllables rather than words for themselves.

So kanji, while a formidable challenge in their own right, takes ones mindset off of the individual syllables and puts it on the words where it belongs.  There are some nasty rules when it comes to this as well – their pronunciation changes on a whim, depending on what the context is, but the pronunciation becomes secondary to the meaning of the word.  It’s still vitally important, obviously, but it’s what pulls you out of the syllabic mindset and into the word mindset.

The textbook I’m using starts with romaji, graduates to hiragana and katakana, and only then introduces kanji.  I absolutely understand why they do that – hitting students with kanji all at once would be incredibly intimidating – but I also think that level of intimidation might be the kick in the pants needed to understand that Japanese is fundamentally different from English.  What I mean is this:  if you exposed students to kanji from the very beginning and then had them start to swim out, maybe it would be easier to toss the conventions of English that we have a tendency to stick to for as long as possible, when they just don’t apply.

In fact, I think this is such an important concept that I created my own “study kanji”.  I have kanji now for desu, deshita, masu, mashita, deshouri, and a couple of others.  I’m also learning kanji for words like “iie” and “totemo”.  They’re only for my own use, of course, but the purpose of these is to focus my mind on the “wordness” of the words and particles, rather than what they’re composed of.  It seems to be bearing fruit.  Memorization has become much easier, at least when I have whole sentences to memorize.  Like I do for this kami-forsaken test.

Of course I will cuss myself out for that choice the minute I accidentally use them when I shouldn’t.  But it is what it is, I suppose.

Throwing in the towel?

I just took my second Japanese test at ACC.  And while I think I did okay at it, I’m feeling very discouraged and I’m very close to giving the whole thing up.

I am pretty good at remembering kanji, pronunciations, and grammar, but it all falls apart when I need to actually put together coherent sentences.  Perhaps I’m not getting enough practice, perhaps I’m just not good enough.  But I really feel as if I have about hit the limit of how well I’m going to do if I keep going the way I’m going now.

But I’m really embarrassed to speak it.  I feel like I’m not good enough to hold even a basic conversation and that everyone I attempt to speak to would rather I just didn’t, but I also know that there’s no way I’m going to get better unless I find people to speak with.  So I’m in a position right now where I don’t know why I’m learning it, I find it interesting but I don’t have a really persuasive reason to continue, and every time I attempt to speak with someone it just leaves me embarrassed.

So, why try?

I recognize that learning a language is grammar, etc., second, and exposure and familiarity first.  If I can’t find that, then there’s no point in wasting my time.

I’m certainly not throwing in the towel until this class is over, but after that, I don’t know.  I don’t have a reason.

Rajiotaiso

So I’ve learned something very interesting about Japanese culture.

Every day at around 6 AM, they put exercise music on the radio, and have a prescribed set of exercises everyone in the country does.  Sensei told us that children, even in the summer, go to the park and do the exercises, and get a sticker, which they can redeem at the beginning of school for a prize.

So, naturally, sensei had the brilliant idea to have us do the exercises in class.

I did not.  I stood up and halfheartedly waved my arms for five seconds, and then just stood there feeling like a fish out of water while everyone else flailed around.

I’ll take the grade hit, if there is one.  She found my limit.

It’s an interesting cultural phenomenon, for sure.  But I’m a gaijin.  I’m learning about Japanese culture, but it’s not my culture.  I wasn’t brought up with that, and I don’t have to do it.  So I won’t.

But I think I understand why Japanese do.  Not only is the common health very important to them, but it’s a shared ceremony, which is something my country doesn’t have enough of.  So perhaps it is rather telling of me that when given the opportunity (or even obligation) to participate in such a ceremony, even at work, I consistently refuse.

This is something I certainly need to dig into – it’s as if I am completely incapable at the moment of doing anything that might make me a part of a group, even a little.

But it is what it is.  It’s an interesting Japanese cultural artifact, for sure.  But the more I learn about Japanese culture, the more certain I am that I will never, ever set foot there.  Which, again, leads to the obvious question of why I’m bothering to learn it at all.

I still don’t know.

That is all.

To class or not to class, that is the question

I have decidedly, and solidly, mixed feelings about Japanese class.

On the one hand, I have found it of some value.  I was finally able to get my hiragana and katakana very solid, which is something I was missing, I learned things like telling time, and I took away things that were definitely of value to me in my ongoing studies.  In that sense, I don’t really regret it.

In another sense, though, I regret it very much.  I’m trying to take these classes while holding down a full time job, many of the students there are literally old enough to be my children (and a couple are, if my hypothetical children and I were particularly irresponsible, old enough to be my grandchildren), and to be quite frank, the curriculum is not oriented towards adult continuing education.  We just spent a week or two talking about our college major, and I have a full time job.  I only have a college major on paper, and I don’t think that’s happening.  So I ended up having to just call myself 一年生 (first year) and just be done with it.  That really made me feel like I was an outsider.

Even though I pretty obviously am, for many reasons.

For that reason, I’m seriously considering taking a break from Japanese II and just studying on my own for a while.  I have a much better foundation now to know what I’m missing, I have a textbook and workbook I can play in that seems to be somewhat effective, and if I study I think I can get most of what I get from class without the structure.  That said, they do have online or hybrid classes, so I’m considering taking that instead, maybe it will be a little less stressful than having to go to class twice a week.  Either way, I have about a month more to get through this, and then I think something’s going to have to change.  It was a valuable experience in some ways, a stressful and painful experience in others, and regardless, I think something will need to be different next semester.  I don’t think it’s working as is.

 

私はなぜ日本語を勉強しますか

私は1年から日本語を勉強しました。難しいと面白いでした。九月からクラスで勉強しました。今は難しいです。でもなぜ知りません。

日本語は楽しすけどオースチンであまち日本人ありません。オースチンの日本語は私と日本語を話ません, 多分私はいい日本語を話ませんから。多分日本人忍耐ありません、でも多分私はばかです。

多分止まれ日本語を勉強します。知りません。でも私は恥ずかしい日本語を話ますてばか感じます。多分すぐ知りますなぜ日本語を勉強しっています。でも今は落胆したします