So, as a part of moving over to this new host, I’ve been going through old posts (starting from the beginning), and categorizing them. Some of them I’ve put in a “hidden” category – they still exist, but will not show up on any listing page (or I think search), and I may get rid of them at some point in the future. This is reserved for posts that are no longer timely or interesting, or posts that Texihabara now or will be a better fit for. Though I trashed all the drafts, very few posts right now have been hidden.
But as I go through those early posts, I think I understand why this blog isn’t popular.
I’m basically ranting about Japanese (and now other things) like a pissed off schoolgirl.
Now if the purpose of this blog is to be a personal blog, fine. I think I can accept that for what it is. But I didn’t create it that way. I started out trying to make observations about Japanese as a beginner, and I only halfway knew what I was talking about. In some cases I had to make some very basic Japanese spelling fixes, and I even tried to write a post or two in Japanese, both of which I can’t bear to try to read and have moved to the “hidden” category. Pretty much every post before post 100 I wish I could just delete. I still find them interesting observations, but I think I understand now why no one else does. I am thoroughly ashamed of putting those posts out for other people to read.
I like writing. I really do. If I didn’t like writing, I wouldn’t do it. And as I’ve said, this blog is a labor of love. But reading over those old posts, I’m asking myself: what exactly am I contributing to anything? Am I just throwing stupid ramblings out to the world and expecting people to read them? What good does that do anyone, really? Even me?
This isn’t going to be another “I’m rethinking this blog” posts. It is what it is, and those posts are what those posts are. It’s more a “why the hell did I do that?” kind of post. And quite honestly… I still don’t really have a good answer.
There are some good kernels of meaning in those posts, though, as ill advised as they were. Maybe I should polish them up and make my own Japanese learning site. After all, I had enough hubris to make one about my opinions on JPop songs… why not?