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I Deleted Facebook

I Deleted Facebook

I deleted Facebook today. I’ve been on Facebook for 15 years now – I first got on it in 2007.  It’s been a huge part of my life for that entire time.  And it’s generally been nothing but a drain on my mental health. The final tipping point was a direct result of my violating one of my cardinal rules – never friend a coworker.  Oh, don’t get me wrong.  I make sure that people know what they’re getting into when they friend me.  And I keep my personal and… Read More »I Deleted Facebook

The Three Japanese Cultures

Hi!  It’s been a while since I posted here, so I have a lot to say.  Truth be told, I don’t really think I’m fond of the blogging method of expressing myself, but I haven’t come up with anything better yet.  I’m working on it, though!  First, an update. The Lily project (https://lovelylilylives.com, in case you didn’t know) is almost a year old now!  In that time, the story has progressed from a sweet but confused girl who didn’t know who she was, to a sweet but confused girl who… Read More »The Three Japanese Cultures

Japanese Hurts

I honestly don’t know how to say what I want to here, so I’m going to start with the title and move out from there.  That seems to work for me, sometimes. I have completely stopped my study of Japanese, and I don’t know if I will ever start again.  Quite frankly, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to start again.  Because everytime I engage with Japanese or Japan in any meaningful way, it hurts.  A lot.  And I haven’t quite figured out why. Maybe I feel like I’ve… Read More »Japanese Hurts

An Intolerable Situation

I don’t have a title for this blog yet.  So I’m going to write it and then title it as the last thing I do before posting.  If I can remember. I mentioned in my last post that this whole war situation is particularly stressful for me.  It is difficult because I was programmed as a child to fear exactly this kind of war.  And it is astonishing to watch such a war play out in real time, in a world where it’s very difficult to keep images from the… Read More »An Intolerable Situation

Just Talking about Stuff

So I’ve had a lot of stuff going on lately, and thought I’d just talk about whatever I feel like talking about. I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately.  I’m not really interested in going into the ins and outs of the war in Ukraine.  quite frankly, it’s boring.  Is it a terrible thing?  Sure, all war is.  But I’ve learned a long time ago that you really should only worry about the things that you can directly change, and quite frankly, this isn’t one of them.  That… Read More »Just Talking about Stuff

Why Christians Annoy the Snot out of me

Earlier, I wrote a post about why I won’t debate with atheists.  Read the post if you want to know why, or don’t.  I stand by it. But recently, I’ve begun to feel the same way about talking to Christians about theology. A few days ago, I had an interaction with some Christians.  Let me be clear – I’d never met them before.  In actuality, they knew absolutely nothing about me except that I don’t like most Christian worship music and that it’s one reason I don’t go to church. … Read More »Why Christians Annoy the Snot out of me

Confessions of a Serial Failure

This post may not be the best one I’ve ever written.  It won’t be the greatest, won’t get a hundred thousand views, hell, won’t get a hundred.  But it’s probably going to be the one that is the most personally impactful to me, because I finally understand something about me that I didn’t before.  And I’m going to share it here. I am a serial failure.  Everything I’ve tried has failed.  Including this blog.  And now, I think I know why. In my life, I have had exactly one of… Read More »Confessions of a Serial Failure

Being Human

Some weeks, months, years, are more difficult than others. The last couple of weeks have been more difficult than most.  I will not go into deep detail, as that is not necessary.  I will simply say that the feelings of isolation and alienation became acute to the point of overwhelming, and I have realized that these have been the defining characteristic of my personality for many years.  That is enough to contextualize the rest of this post. There is, however, a fact that does help.  I have a human body.… Read More »Being Human

Alien (Gaijin)

There have been, and are, several reasons for this site.  But I think ultimately the reason I created and still write in this site is to help me work out stuff by writing, and I just so happen to do it publicly sometimes.  I need to do that now.  So, here we go. If I were to give a word to how I have felt throughout my entire life, I think I would use the word “isolation”.  The Japanese word “gaijin” really does encompass in many ways how I feel… Read More »Alien (Gaijin)

Not Suffering Fools Gladly

There is something about me that I have not exactly kept hidden, but I’ve kind of downplayed it.  Whenever I say this out loud, I tend to try to soften it.  I will say something like “present company excepted”, or “but I don’t mean YOU”, or any similar words that are intended to soften what I truly feel inside. I don’t think I’m going to do that now. What I will say is that I’ve always been this way, so I’m not telling you anything new, and everything that I’ve said… Read More »Not Suffering Fools Gladly